My parents divorced when I was young.  The divorce wasn’t especially hard on me, but the split custody and very hateful feelings between my parents was.  My dad is a mean man.  I moved out of his house at 16 and have only interacted with him on one occasion since then, when his mother, my sweet grandmother, died.  He was verbally and emotionally abusive to all of us, and I still struggle with the scars he created.  I try every day to be a different parent than him.

I love tattoos.  I love the pain, the beauty, the uniqueness, the boundary-pushing, the process, the commitment, everything.  I love them.  I wish I could afford more.  I do feel like my tattoos give people a different perception of me.  My edgy haircut, my inked skin and occasional piercings make me look tough.  But I assure you, I am not.  I’m all bubble gum and kittens on the inside, and balancing the two can be a challenge.  I’m not hardcore.  I feel silly for looking it and not acting it, but I’m not.  I screamed through my first (and only) Brazilian waxing.  I cry at commercials.  I love nature and stupid movies and don’t get the steampunk craze.  I just like tattoos.

I struggle with feeling good enough.  I know I’m a good photographer, but I have never felt great.  Honestly, I’m good at a lot of things, but great at few.  That inner fight of being too hard on myself holds me back a lot in life.  I don’t always have the confidence to pursue my goals, even though I likely am more than good enough.  I got a tattoo on my foot that says, “I am enough.”  And I know I am.  But sometimes I don’t want to be enough.  I want to be more than enough.

I have body image issues just like everyone else.  And because I will end up knowing yours, here are mine.  My teeth aren’t white enough.  My muffin top is out. of. con. trol.  I have mom boobs.  The skin on my chest is blotchy.  My forehead is big.  I need to lose 15 pounds.  And the biggest: my under eye circles.  That’s all I can see in every photo.  In the mirror they look ten feet long and as black as night.  I have had them as long as I can remember, and no amount of sleep or cream minimizes them.  They are just my glaring insecurity.

And there you have it.  Some vulnerabilities.  To prove I am serious about this, here are some completely unedited photos.  And yes, that is what I do with my hands when I am in front of a camera.  I am fully aware of the fact that getting your picture taken is hard.  FULLY AWARE, people.  

Life is a struggle, we all just need to do the best we can.  And hey, guess what else.  YOU are enough, too.  And I can’t wait to meet you.

The post Monday Mixer – A bit about me appeared first on Jen Swedhin Intimate Portraiture.

Her hair was done by Tina at On The List.  Makeup was by Britney from On The List.  These girls did an amazing job of making our vision a reality.

Cat, thank you so much for the opportunity to try something new, and for stepping out of your comfort zone.  I hope these images remind you how beautiful you really are!  And I also hope watching me slip and slide through the mud was as fun for you as it was for me.

Have a fun idea for a shoot?  Let me know about it and we can make it happen!  970-261-3545

The post Gothic Couture with Cat appeared first on Jen Swedhin Intimate Portraiture.

Hi there!!

My name is Tricia Smith, 38, mother of 3 daughters and am very happy and blessed in my life.  I have been thru a lot in my years, physically, emotionally and mentally but have managed to pull thru it all with a healthy attitude and zest for life.  I would love to do this with you and have a great time exploring new photography avenues!

Thanks for this opportunity and your consideration.  -Tricia

Amazing, yes?  And she’s a 38-year-old mother of three??  Incredible.  Welcome to the team, Tricia!  I am so excited to work with you!  Make sure you leave Tricia some love in the comments, she deserves it!

Contact me today to book your beauty session – I promise you won’t regret it.  970-261-3545

The post Glam Girl Finalist #3 – Miss Tricia appeared first on Jen Swedhin Intimate Portraiture.

Hello there!

I’d  love the opportunity to be your glam girl!  there are lots of reasons why that I could ramble off, but the main reason is that I have always had low self esteem. I don’t know why. I know I’m smart and funny and brave. I’ve overcome adversity as a single mom of 2 through my 20′s, I took a chance with a man I barely knew, got a passport and flew for the first time outside of the United States to meet him on Ireland, I’m pursuing my passion as a writer…yet I feel I still have a journey of self acceptance to accomplish.  I’ve always wanted to be seen as “sexy” and after viewing your photographs a voice inside my head said, “Do it. Enter. You are sexy. Now show the world sexy radiates from within.” So here I am. Entering.

My name is Randelyn Snow-Rafferty and I wanna be your experiment.

Tell Randee just how amazing she looks by leaving her a comment!

The post Glam Girl Finalist #2 – Miss Randee appeared first on Jen Swedhin Intimate Portraiture.

Finalist #1:  Miss Alicia

My Personal Journey; I personally believe I was meant to be a Mommy, but I still want to finish my degree, and own my own business. Also as the new year has arrived, I have decided that my resolution would be to spend a little more time on taking care of myself. I have started a 12 week transformation challenge to improve my fitness and nutrition and feel that being a spokes model for a photographer will also help keep me accountable for my fitness goal. My end goal, to compete in a fitness/bodybuilding competition.

Why are you going to love me? Because I am spectacular I was raised to be respectful at all times, but I know how to have fun when the time calls for it. I’m really just a big kid at heart. Playful, sassy, reserved, girly but I love to play in the mud, drive fast and make a statement. I’m unique, and there is no one else like me. I love being different. Different hair, crazy outfits, bright makeup, tattoos, the works.  –Alicia

Leave Alicia some love and tell her what you think – and stay tuned for a full session from Alicia coming soon!

The post Glam Girl Finalist #1 – Miss Alicia appeared first on Jen Swedhin Intimate Portraiture.